Wow. The mom-guilt is real.
So much of our mom guilt can be overcome with mindful mothering.
It is so hard trying to be all of the things all of the time, right? A full time employee or career women as well as the best mom you can possibly be. Often our work is absolutely essential to our livelihoods. It isn’t as simple as just “going part-time” or even quitting the job to be home full time (although the temptation can often be there).
In other cases, we actually really love our careers and maybe realise that we would be totally useless as stay-at-home-moms. Our kids would drive us batty and we would be totally bored… but that creates a little spark of guilt, doesn’t it?
Either way, we work. But we also mother.
And it seems that the biggest challenge is being pulled in these two seemingly opposite directions. Sometimes our littlies need us. They get sick or need some additional mom-time and then we feel torn in different directions. This includes the obligations and responsibilities of work and the heart-wrenching responsibilities and priorities as a mom.
Other times we have got a ton of errands, chores and household responsibilities to see to. We simply are not getting enough time to spend with our kids.
We Don’t Spend Enough Time With Our Children
The one thing most working moms agree on is that they are not spending enough time with their children.
Now I introduce this in my new T.P.M Method (get your free copy >>here<<), but this topic is coming up again and again in conversation. We need more QUALITY time with our children… not necessarily just more time. It is very tempting (in desperate attempts to keep the mom-guilt at bay) to try multitask mom-time. To try spend mom-time while doing the chores (supermarket shopping, cleaning, cooking, a little extra work-from-home stuff). The thing is, we often land up not doing too well in either department and end up with even more guilt.
So I propose Mindfulness. This is a simple and effective tool in creating more QUALITY time with our kids that allows us time for children ASWELL as the other responsibilities we have to see to.
And the clincher? – it eradicates mom-guilt.
What if we tried being a little more present? A little more available to whatever the moment is bringing us? We are human and we all need connection. We feel we are failing at our mothering when we aren’t truly connecting with our children. But how can we be expected to connect fully when we have a thousand things on the to-do list and running through our minds?
So we continue to put this enormous pressure on ourselves to do more, spend more time, work harder. But all we may have needed to start off with was a little bit of connection and a tiny dose of just being present.
You see – when we have spent just half an hour in joyful conversation or play with our kids, we feel better about our mothering. And when we feel better about our connection then we feel better about ourselves. Its a beautiful thing, right?
Because now we can also spend some time attending to the other tasks and to-do’s that need attention and we can do so without the guilt and sense of overwhelm.
Being in the moment, present and available leaves both our children and ourselves feeling fulfilled.
How Does It Work?
Sometimes creating more time, means being mindful of the time you have.
Mindful mothering means putting off the phone, shutting down the computer, putting your other “to-do’s” on the shelf for a bit. Then you can just focus on what your child needs in this moment. Maybe that means having a conversation about their day, researching a homework topic together. Maybe it means going for a walk, baking something or simply getting on the floor and playing with our smallest.
It doesn’t take an enormous amount of time, but it creates an enormous amount of connection and wellbeing.
Then you can move on to your next task, mama, and get so much more meaningful stuff done in your day !
Do you feel like you don’t have enough time to focus on this?
Mindfulness does not require a huge amount of your time. It is not the QUANTITY of it. It is the QUALITY of the time you spend with your child that makes the difference – to them AND to you. I guarantee it will alleviate some of that guilt!
And most of all YOU deserve the connection. This is not only about what you may think your child needs!
A Fun Challenge To get You Started
So I challenge you this week to spend 15-30 minutes everyday simply engaged in a mindful moment with your child/ren.
This could even be a mindful conversation on your way home from the school pick up, or on the way to the supermarket. It could be a walk together after evening practice. Or even some mindful time spent looking at homework or a book together.
Try it out and note how you (and your child) feel after that moment. Feel free to drop your experiences in the comments… I love hearing from my tribe ?
If you feel like you need some additional guidance – feel free to explore ways to work with me where we can craft your time to suit your needs and support you in your journey to mindful mothering.